IF I ONLY COULD

For reasons not fully understood neurological diseases accelerate around the globe and are increasingly recognized by the NIH National Institutes of Health as a global public health challenge.

Caring for my critically ill parents for many years, I assumed that I was emotionally prepared for this project. When I entered the Early Rehabilitation Unit (ERU) at the Jewish Hospital in Berlin for the first time, I realized that I was not.

Seeing the most vulnerable of all patients, depending on healthcare workers and families for the most vitally important and basic tasks, affected me as a person and a photographer. Learning that some of them till recently lived a completely normal life was difficult to believe. While part of the patients suffered for years, others were ripped out of their lives from one day to another. Even though the cause of their ailments was different, their physical conditions was in all cases very severe, no matter the age.

I started my project ‘If I only could’ in collaboration with the Jewish Hospital in Berlin in August 2022 and have focused on the Early Rehabilitation Unit with the most critical ill patients. The project should help us understand what it means to suffer from a neurological disorder and how it effects families and our social environment. It also shows the strain on healthcare workers and our health care system. Despite the fact, that in many cases the patients were unable to verbally express themselves, I was able to witness their emotions which I want to share with the viewer.

My personal interest in this project rose a long time ago. At age 20 I personally developed a Neurological Disorder called RLS which apart of physical discomfort caused me a lot of emotional stress. Neither my family nor my social environment was able to understand my condition till many years later when it was officially acknowledged as a Neurological Disorder and properly treated. Since then, research discovered many more Neurological disorders and further explores the wide field, to better help the affected.

This project is supported by the German Brain Society. The name and the health history of all the patients will be disclosed at a later time.

Neurological disorders, ranging from epilepsy to Alzheimer disease, from stroke to headache, affect up to one billion people worldwide. Neurological disorders also include brain cancer, brain injuries, neuroinfectious diseases, multiple sclerosis and Parkinson disease. They make up the number two cause of death worldwide after ischemic heart disease.